Kelleys to blow freaking roof off of Lilith Fair!!!!!

It is officially here: Rumored, unconfirmed, confirmed, then, unconfirmed again summer tour dates are here. Since Del Preston is in charge of the tour, these dates can be categorized as speculative at best.

Important Kelley Dates
--June 1st- University of Southwestern Florida (Redds) w Curtis Peoples
--June 3rd- Tentative court date for Del Preston's old lady(keep fingers crossed)
--June 4th- Del Preston community service for unspecified narcotics arrest
--June 5th- Cafeteria of Richmond County High School (meat loaf day)
--June 7th- Opening Act for Kevin Bacon's band at Southwestern Polytechnic State A&M
--June 9th- Special Acoustic Show in Room 104 of the Best Western on Atlanta Hwy in Athens, GA
--June 11th- Nap time at Columbia County's Pre-K School for the Deaf
-- June 15th- Double header starting at TKE house ( make-up show from Buckingham palace show) followed by Last Call performace w Curtis Peoples and special guest, Oliver Peoples
--June 20th- Del Preston's old lady's due date for her love child with Kelley business manager Lou Manheim
--July 9th- Lilith Fair Tour Gainesville, FL University of Florida KA Fraternity House
--July 15th- Talladega Alabama -- Racers Hall w. special appearances by Slim C and Del Preston. Also in attendence, Curtis Peoples.


Del Preston had the following to say: " OK. Ladies and gentlemen, it takes two people to run a concert. One backstage and one out front. Two. One man alone cannot do this. To the left and the right of the stage are the machine gun nests, belt-fed M- Brownings. These babies tend to heat up, so shoot in three-second bursts. In the event of capture, I will personally distribute cyanide capsules, to be placed under the tongue like so. Any questions?"